Yesterday I had dozens of things to do-ish. Like the world won’t stop if I don’t get to these things do-ish but there’s my suitcase still unopened outside my bedroom door from the trip to Buffalo last weekend there’s a gross needs cleaned out fridge, there’s recycling needs running and so on.

Already the night before yesterday I took time to really turn my work off. The vocation work I’m talking truly put it all down and turn it off, choosing to close down my mind especially mindfully clearing and cleansing my body too. My office on the other side of the door on one side of our house. My small business started our eighth year in March. I am stunned! Wow’d, grateful and near awe about it on some level almost every day. And. Still, especially now too, remembering. Stop. Create space. Pace.

Pace myself. Slow down. The only thing I knew for sure about yesterday was the back garden needs regular tending starting basically right now til end of late fall and the weather finally is right for it. Little one woke me yesterday by moving the curtain to look out on the yard for her dad’s truck and the sun. She said to me and the weird grey white blue sky cloud soup energy, look at the green. Why’s it all green?

The coastal midatlantic, basin of eastern plateau this place where this body is complete, home. Loblolly salt breeze.

I am in love with place here, the earth and natural hideaway corners outdoors. Lordyy tho where I live the weather this year. Gray round the clock gray round the bend. And cold. A cold pang slanting up my back every time I went outside the last two weeks. Cold in Pennsylvania, snow with cold only Friday a week ago riding along the other side of the Poconos. Wet cold snow driving on into New York and upstate.

My family went north for the eclipse. I speak for us all we went and were delivered again and again by nature, renewed in the epic waters of Niagra. Against acres of country and farm and somehow hours of golden hour backdrop at my families places of music and love and whim. Laughed at by nature too, too cloudy to see the totality we end up getting an orange crescent grin instead on the side of the road in Pa Monday, traveling back home. We celebrate.

It is conspiracy season. The season powers that be on narrative and drama turn up vengeance and exploit our time and our standards. It is the season that the new age and the end of times somehow blur the edges towards one.

Another season here again, season of presidential doom.

The bridge on the horizon line of my childhood home base in the city, off Church Street towards the end, Curtis on the Bay (my dad’s always grinning words about where he grew up) collapses. Now stunned space, an overture… connection to my childhood my bodies of my body’s…the land her natural marvels is the place, too the traditions, habits, people, relationships…all the grains that make up one’s dance of “me”also”us”? Eco*psychology.

It is spring but feels like winter til this week. My daughter and I get on our knees in the green and the brown earth.

A solar eclipse only happens during a new moon. New moons mean the same as spring, a begin-again time.

This week is the first new moon of spring. Orange cheeto grin.

A meditation teacher I like speaks of a door to heaven within. To get there goes like this, in his words. Breathe all the way in. Stop. Breathe all the way out. Stop. And so on.

Man it felt good to practice yesterday. Breathe all the way in. Stop. All the way out. Stop. Now, go outside in all the green and wild winds.